Making Friends

Despite the cold and all the snow and rain this month, I’ve been a busy gal being social. Visits, coffee dates, lunches, dinners and drinks. My dance card has been pretty full.

It all started with a book I picked up at the library. It was about a woman who relocated to a new city and was on a mission to make friends. She set out to go on 52 ‘friend dates’ throughout the course of a year. If anyone is interested, the book is called MWF Seeks BFF and is written by Rachel Bertsche.

After reading the book, I was totally amped up to make some new friends. I even created an account on www.MeetUp.com and joined a few groups that appealed to me. While I waited for my first event, I realized that while I shouldn’t be averse to making new friends, I should work on maintaining my existing friendships and put in some effort to re-establish some that may have fallen through the cracks.

I got on facebook and e-mail and started making plans!

By the end of the month, I did quite well with my ‘friend dating’. I was able to get together with:

  • 2 elementary school friends
  • 3 high school friends
  • 1 university friend
  • 8 mommy friends (3 with our kids, 5 without)
  • About 2 dozen new friends through my first MeetUp experience

Whew! I think I’ll take a couple weeks to recover and then get back into it when the weather starts to warm up.

Here’s a side-bar for anyone who thinks I was nuts to meet up with unknowns (like my sister-in-law who was convinced I was going to be ax-murdered): Meeting like-minded strangers isn’t as crazy as it sounds. I had some back and forth e-mails with the organizers before we met in person so there was a tiny bit of a relationship first. And of course it goes without saying, we met in a public place. I had such a great time that I am meeting up with the group again in a couple weeks.

 

Coming Full Circle

When I was in high school, I did my fair share of partying.  It just wasn’t the weekend unless there was a house party and I had a mickey of tequila.

Come university, the amount of partying decreased significantly.  I was just too busy with sports, work, volunteering or *gasp* my studies.  I still had the occasional night of over indulgence but I think I got most of it out of my system when I was under age.  What fun is it if you are legal? 🙂

Gradually, I became quite the home body.  It was much easier and more enjoyable to stay on the couch, order takeout and rent a movie than deal with the hassle of going out.

Once L came along, the going out just stopped (with the exception of special occasions).  Even at my sister-in-law’s wedding (where I was the maid of honour), I stayed sober and was home by 10:00.  Nights out just became way more effort than they were worth.  Regardless of how late I would be out the night before or how many drinks I would have, I was still required to get up at 7:00 to be a parent.  As most caregivers know, watching children can’t be done half-assed.  There is entertaining to be done, meals to be prepared and fed and stinky bums to be cleaned and changed (just try changing a poopy diaper while crazy hung over with your gag reflex at its peak).

Since E has arrived and we are now 7.5 months in, I crave a night out.  My outings don’t need to be elaborate.  I just need a break sometimes and the opportunity to be a separate entity outside of my family unit.  This isn’t an uncommon occurrence in the realm of moms of more than one.  I believe the official name is ‘second-time-mom-itis’.

This past weekend, I had a family wedding which allowed me to escape go out for the night.  I used the girls’ entire nap time to primp.  I did my hair, took more than the usual 3 minutes to do my makeup, wore a sparkly necklace and put on a dress that I’ve only worn twice even though it has been sitting in my closet for the past 3 years.

Despite being there sans hubby (he was working) and leaving before 10:00 to get home and relieve the sitter (i.e., nana), I had a fantastic time.

Here is a picture of me and my sister-in-law enjoying ourselves:

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Any other moms out there experiencing this phenomenon?